Dark, Stormy, and Delightful - A Review of SIEGE AND STORM

Let's start with the drink.

Really, there's only one cocktail that looks nice next to Leigh Bardugo's Siege and Storm--and that's the dark and stormy.  Or if you're feeling particularly punny, you might call it a "Darkling and Sturmhond."

I'm hilarious.

If you've read the book, then you know that the Darkling and Sturmhond are the key players here.  Alina and Mal?  Who cares?  They're gin and tonic, rum and coke.  Tasty, but tired.

Let's backtrack.

Make yourself that dark and stormy.  Sit back.  Dive into the second installment of the Grisha trilogy, which is Avatar: the Last Airbender meets Graceling meets tsarist Russia.  And there's monsters and shit.

When we left off in Shadow and Bone, our heroine, Alina, and her boy-toy Mal were fleeing the country (called Ravka) in case the evil Darkling wasn't as dunzo as they hoped.  Of course, he wasn't, because that would be boring, and that's where Siege and Storm picks up -- with the Darkling capturing Alina and Mal with the help of the pirate Sturmhond.

Dark and stormy, people.  Dark and stormy.

Anyway, the Darkling hunts Alina because she's the only person who can control light, just as he is the only one who can control darkness.  With her help, he could expand the Fold, a shadowy desert filled with flesh-eating bat creatures called volcra.  Obviously, she's not thrilled about that, which leads to a war between darkness and light.  Literally.

Except what's so great about this book is that the Darkling and Alina -- darkness and light -- are not always fighting.  Sometimes, they make out.

Okay, so Alina makes out with a lot of guys.  The Darkling.  Mal.  The Darkling.  Sturmhond.  The Darkling.  The Darkling.  The Darkling.

My biggest complaint about this book is that there isn't enough Darkling.  Mostly, he comes in weird visions, during which he creeps hardcore, and the rest of the time he's saints-know-where.  He's cunning.  Ruthless.  And yet, there's something about him that's undeniably appealing.

It's rare that a villain is my favorite character.  Rarer still that I ship the protagonist and antagonist.  But the Darkling gets Alina.  And, you know, he has saved her life in the past.  The glassy-eyed schoolgirl in me doesn't think he would actually hurt her.  All her loved ones, yes, but not her:

He was watching me in that cold, assessing way that always made me feel as if he were reading me like words on a page, his fingers moving over the text, gleaning some secret knowledge that I could only guess at.  I tried not to fidget, but the irons at my wrists chafed.

“I’d like to free you,” he said quietly.

“Free me, flay me.  So many options.”  I could still feel the press of his knife at my cheek.

He sighed.  “It was a threat, Alina.  It accomplished what it needed to.”

“So you wouldn’t have cut me?”

“I didn’t say that.”  His voice was pleasant and matter-of-fact, as always.  He might have been threatening to carve me up ordering his dinner.

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Not the nicest guy on the block, but I'm optimistic.

Darkling.  Now let's get to the Sturmhond part.

Sturmhond is a new addition to this series -- and he's wonderful.  He's a pirate, an inventor, and so much more, as we find out in one of the story's early twists.  Like the Darkling, he's intelligent and charming, but in a different way.  Mainly, he has a sense of humor (which, unfortunately, the Darkling lacks).  And, of course, he believes in everything:

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable."

That brings us to our last two stars:  Alina and Mal.  Considering they're the main characters, they should probably be first, but they don't shine quite as bright as the Darkling or Sturmhond.  I like them.  I do.  I think Alina's transformation from self-conscious runaway to leader is well done.  She makes mistakes.  She needs help.  And a part of her recognizes that she and the Darkling are the very definition of frenemies.

I like Mal, too, except that he's a bit mopey in this book.  I like the fun Mal, the popular Mal, who thrives in every environment.  In this book, he's jealous and grumpy, so even though he's "the love interest," I'm not shouting "Pick Number 3, my lord."

I'm shouting pick the Darkling.  He may be a raging sociopath, but I have hope that he'll make like Prince Zuko, join Team Avatar, and save the world.

We'll find out in the next book.

In the meantime, drink up me hearties yo ho.

Dark and Stormy

Use one part dark rum.  Fill the glass with ginger beer.  Top with lime juice.

The Brazen Fox

*Game of Thrones spoiler alert*

Until Sunday, I had never seen a bar fall into utter silence.  We stared, our breath bated, our knuckles white against our frosted glasses of Ommegang.  Beside me, a girl was crying, her tear-streaked face illuminated by the glow of six TVs.

On screen, Shireen was burning as her father watched on.

This was my first experience at the Brazen Fox, a Manhattan bar on the corner of 3rd and 13th that attracts guests with "nerd culture."  There are the usual sports, but there's also Dungeons & Dragons -- and, of course, Game of Thrones.

When we arrived at 8:00, the bar was crowded for the pregame show.  That is, last week's episode.  Fortunately, we were able to get a table, but soon afterwards the staff set up a waitlist as people flooded the bar.

Then, the opening theme.

I'll be honest:  I expected commentary throughout the episode.  I thought some dirtbag would spoil it, or wolf whistle at Dany, or make homophobic remarks regarding the Tyrells.  That didn't happen.  Not once.  Everyone was quiet, respectful -- and united.  I wouldn't have been surprised if we had held hands during Shireen's death.

Then, then…

It's no secret that Jorah is my favorite character.  Not only is he a badass when it comes to fighting, his unrequited love for Daenerys is the best love story in the show.  (Think about it:  Jaime/Cersei, Jon/Ygritte, Tyrion/Shae).  So I was on the edge of my seat when he stepped into the fighting pit.

And so, apparently, was everyone else.

How can anyone NOT ship this?  Ugh, be still my heart.

The cheers erupted as soon as he started to fight.  Every time he took a hit, we gasped.  Every time he struck, we screamed.  The applause was monstrous.  Go Jorah go!  Hit him!  Get up!  Please, get up!  We were in the coliseum.  We were there.

As the episode raced toward its climax, the cheers escalated.  Naturally, my favorite moment happened when Daenerys accepted Jorah's hand, and my delighted scream joined four dozen others.  Seriously, who needs football?  We whooped and hollered for Tyrion, for Missandei, for Daario and Grey Worm and DROGON DROGON DROGON.

For Drogon, people jumped out of their seats, screaming as though the United States had just won the World Cup.

And it continued into the credits.

For me, Game of Thrones has always been a social event:  a way to bond with my brother and mom, a common interest among my coworkers at Barnes & Noble, a part of college culture that involved Martell-esque Mirassou served in plastic wine glasses.

The Brazen Fox takes that to a whole new level.  If you're in Manhattan next week, stop by for the finale.  It's more than a show; it's an experience.

Books and…Bananas?

If you've read my blog at all, you know that there isn't much I like more than books.  I love books.  I love to talk about books.

But you know what makes books even better?  Booze, especially when enjoyed with bread (bread here meaning "bit, piece, morsel [of food].") (Thanks OED).

That leads me to this.  In attempting to revamp my blog, I'm going to call on my certification in Beer, Wine, Mixology, and Bar Management (remember when that happened?), my repertoire of cooking skillz (still working on that), and my obsession with books to bring perfect pairings to your library.  Or kitchen.  Or dorm room.

So let's get started.  Unfortunately, there's no alcohol in today's pairing -- partly because I don't have any banana liqueur lying around and partly because I'm reviewing a kids book.

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate won the Newbery Medal in 2013.  I had high expectations, even though I didn't know what to anticipate story-wise.

It's a simple story.  Ivan is a gorilla who lives a mundane existence in a mall.  He loves to paint -- bananas, usually -- but his artistic skills aren't enough to draw a large crowd.  In an attempt to rescue the business, his owner purchases a baby elephant named Ruby to join an older elephant named Stella.  Being wise, Stella knows that she's dying -- and she makes Ivan promise to help Ruby escape the mall.

That's the basic set-up.  It's a cute story with endearing characters that makes its reader consider the exploitation of animals.  Is it memorable?  Hard to say, considering I read it a week ago.  I forget some of the characters' names.  So there's that.  In a way, it's Water for Elephants for ten-year olds.  I, by the way, am not a ten-year old, but I think children's literature is of the utmost importance -- especially when it has the heart of The One and Only Ivan.

But you know what makes this book even better?  Fried bananas.  Ivan loves bananas.  He paints bananas.  I don't paint bananas, but I eat them.  Fried.  With honey, and maybe some other stuff if I'm feeling really creative.

Fried Bananas

It's simple.  A gorilla could probably do it.  Take a banana.  Green is good.  Slice it.  Lay the pieces in a greased skillet.  After a minute or so, flip them so that the other side gets cooked, too.  Then drizzle honey over the pieces.  Remove from skillet.

Top with anything and everything.  Shredded coconut.  Chocolate chips.  Walnuts.  Cinnamon.  Whatever.  I don't care.

Guys, I'm really good at food photography.

Enjoy.

P.S.  If you can find a way to work rum into the recipe, tell me.